The death ray is finished!
It's beautiful. Gorgeous. Lovely. Superb.
And it works!
Showing posts with label Death ray. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death ray. Show all posts
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
December twenty-third- Behind
Yeah, I'm behind on my posting. I just haven't been blogging and that's because there's nothing to blog about. I'm almost finished with my death ray- two more days. I have also decided to change the titles of my posts from the number of days I've blogged to the date. It's just simpler that way, you know?
Mathew is gone. He went home for the holidays, as did the rest of my minions. Even the cleaning lady is gone. The lair is really quiet. And I like it that way.
Mathew is gone. He went home for the holidays, as did the rest of my minions. Even the cleaning lady is gone. The lair is really quiet. And I like it that way.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Day 19- Hey!
Well darn. I just realized, my blog isn't original. Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog was made long before this one. Drat.
It also occurred to me that I don't have an official villain name. I mostly go by Marian. My cousin, Marine, calls me Mari, which is, by the way, her nickname. Neither Marian nor Mari are exactly known for striking fear into the hearts of men. So... Any suggestions? Because I really wouldn't mind some.
On a totally different subject, I just thought I'd mention how awesome I am. Have you ever noticed that? I'm sure you have. I am. So cool.
Six days till death ray.
It also occurred to me that I don't have an official villain name. I mostly go by Marian. My cousin, Marine, calls me Mari, which is, by the way, her nickname. Neither Marian nor Mari are exactly known for striking fear into the hearts of men. So... Any suggestions? Because I really wouldn't mind some.
On a totally different subject, I just thought I'd mention how awesome I am. Have you ever noticed that? I'm sure you have. I am. So cool.
Six days till death ray.
Day 18- Death ray
Well, since it is nearing completion, I thought I'd tell you a bit about the death ray.
The death ray itself is about two and a half feet long. It's pretty lightweight, considering its size, which is nice enough.
I'm not, embarrassingly enough, totally sure how it works. No wait, I do, I just choose not to tell you. It adds.... Like, intrigue or something that way.
The plan for the death ray is thus:
The Board of International Heroes is meeting at the city hall in the nearest large town. Captain Hero will be there, receiving a promotion, in front of a large amount of fans, fellow heroes, and a few wanna-be heroes who haven't yet earned the title of hero.
It's on that day that I shall take my revenge on the entire collection of heroes, for good. I'll kill Captain Hero first. Once they see the death ray in action, being the insecure bunch of cowardly politicians they are, they'll immediately surrender. I'll be the villain I've always intended to be.
Seven days until satisfaction.
The death ray itself is about two and a half feet long. It's pretty lightweight, considering its size, which is nice enough.
I'm not, embarrassingly enough, totally sure how it works. No wait, I do, I just choose not to tell you. It adds.... Like, intrigue or something that way.
The plan for the death ray is thus:
The Board of International Heroes is meeting at the city hall in the nearest large town. Captain Hero will be there, receiving a promotion, in front of a large amount of fans, fellow heroes, and a few wanna-be heroes who haven't yet earned the title of hero.
It's on that day that I shall take my revenge on the entire collection of heroes, for good. I'll kill Captain Hero first. Once they see the death ray in action, being the insecure bunch of cowardly politicians they are, they'll immediately surrender. I'll be the villain I've always intended to be.
Seven days until satisfaction.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Day 17- Titles!
Since nothing really happened today (okay, I lied- the intern messed up another case) I have decided to inform you that these posts will now have *gasp of excitement* Titles!
Yes! Not only will you have to read my boring and idiotic posts about my stupid intern, but you now have to read a title, too! Isn't it brilliant?
Aren't you so excited?
I'm so great I impress even myself. Thank you very much.
Please don't kill me.
Eight days till death ray.
Yes! Not only will you have to read my boring and idiotic posts about my stupid intern, but you now have to read a title, too! Isn't it brilliant?
Aren't you so excited?
I'm so great I impress even myself. Thank you very much.
Please don't kill me.
Eight days till death ray.
Day 16
Life is full of surprises, isn't it?
One day, you'll be a reasonably successful soon-to-be evil overlord, the next, you'll be tortured and expected to die within the next thirty seconds.
What is the manner of my distress, you ask? (Shut up. You were supposed to ask; if you had, I wouldn't have had to interrupt a perfectly good rant like this.)
The torture is, and I kid you not, my new intern, curse him, likes opera.
Ugh, and there was wailing and moaning and gnashing of teeth!
Will it ever stop? It's awful!
Eight days left till death ray.
One day, you'll be a reasonably successful soon-to-be evil overlord, the next, you'll be tortured and expected to die within the next thirty seconds.
What is the manner of my distress, you ask? (Shut up. You were supposed to ask; if you had, I wouldn't have had to interrupt a perfectly good rant like this.)
The torture is, and I kid you not, my new intern, curse him, likes opera.
Ugh, and there was wailing and moaning and gnashing of teeth!
Will it ever stop? It's awful!
Eight days left till death ray.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Day 12, 13, 14
Uh-oh.
It has come to my attention that Captain Hero has learned of my death-ray, which is nearing completion. Through these past days he has attempted to find it- luckily I placed it in the one place no one will ever find, such as it is, buried within my fortress in a place of unrivaled secrecy (it's under my bed).
Ten days until completion.
It has come to my attention that Captain Hero has learned of my death-ray, which is nearing completion. Through these past days he has attempted to find it- luckily I placed it in the one place no one will ever find, such as it is, buried within my fortress in a place of unrivaled secrecy (it's under my bed).
Ten days until completion.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Day 11
The package is staring at me.
I don't know how it's staring, but it is. It doesn't have eyes, but it's there, taunting me....
Thirteen days till death ray, but I might get ahead- it's going great!
I don't know how it's staring, but it is. It doesn't have eyes, but it's there, taunting me....
Thirteen days till death ray, but I might get ahead- it's going great!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Day 10
Today I got a package in the mail, with no return address.
Okay, that's weird. I don't get packages. I don't even get mail. This is probably because I don't have a mailbox and everyone I know hates me, but yeah.
I opened the package and, to my amazement and the general amazement of the furniture, it was a Christmas gift, obvious by the wrapping paper underneath the brown paper used for shipping.
Still amazed, I stuck it next to my Charlie Brown style Christmas tree.
Wow.
Fourteen days till the death ray.
Okay, that's weird. I don't get packages. I don't even get mail. This is probably because I don't have a mailbox and everyone I know hates me, but yeah.
I opened the package and, to my amazement and the general amazement of the furniture, it was a Christmas gift, obvious by the wrapping paper underneath the brown paper used for shipping.
Still amazed, I stuck it next to my Charlie Brown style Christmas tree.
Wow.
Fourteen days till the death ray.
Day 9
Nothing at all has happened today. So.
IT'S SO FLUFF- I mean, MWAHAHAHA. Ahem. Evil kittens. Yeah.
Fifteen days till death ray.
IT'S SO FLUFF- I mean, MWAHAHAHA. Ahem. Evil kittens. Yeah.
Fifteen days till death ray.
Day 8
Okay, sorry for the delay, but I've been busy (I forgot).
Anyway, I will now try and catch up on the events of the past few days, which aren't particularly exciting.
Let's see.... I got beaten up by Captain Hero (he threw a car at my head), I destroyed a building (fine, fine, I admit it was scheduled for demolition anyway, but it still counts!) and I had a cup of tea. It was really gross.
So yeah. Busy day.
Sixteen days until the death-ray.
Anyway, I will now try and catch up on the events of the past few days, which aren't particularly exciting.
Let's see.... I got beaten up by Captain Hero (he threw a car at my head), I destroyed a building (fine, fine, I admit it was scheduled for demolition anyway, but it still counts!) and I had a cup of tea. It was really gross.
So yeah. Busy day.
Sixteen days until the death-ray.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Day 7
The day's events were extraordinarily fortunate for me.
The night spent in the basement was long, made longer by the sound of Captain Hero watching television on the floor above us. My fellow villains were talking in a friendly manner, until they touched on the subject of why we were in our 'host's ' lair in the first place, specifically without his permission.
Once he found out he was pretty annoyed.
"You sneaked into my lair do destroy my death ray?" he bellowed at us.
"Yes," the two of us housebreakers said in unison.
He groaned. "It's not a death ray. It's a coffee machine. I called it a death ray because it doesn't sound very overlordly to say I built a coffee machine."
There was a few moments of silence, then my friend, thank goodness, announced that he had managed to untie himself.
He untied me too, and we both glanced at our mutual rival.
"He is competition," pointed out my friend.
"True."
"But he's not very good competition."
"Nope."
"But we still shouldn't risk letting him out. We did break into his lair, after all."
"That's also true."
So we left him. Captain Hero was asleep in front of the blaring TV, so we moved past him easily and left the lair.
My friend headed home, to his lair in Florida. I returned to my fortress as well.
Until tomorrow, my minions.
Seventeen days till completion of the death-ray.
The night spent in the basement was long, made longer by the sound of Captain Hero watching television on the floor above us. My fellow villains were talking in a friendly manner, until they touched on the subject of why we were in our 'host's ' lair in the first place, specifically without his permission.
Once he found out he was pretty annoyed.
"You sneaked into my lair do destroy my death ray?" he bellowed at us.
"Yes," the two of us housebreakers said in unison.
He groaned. "It's not a death ray. It's a coffee machine. I called it a death ray because it doesn't sound very overlordly to say I built a coffee machine."
There was a few moments of silence, then my friend, thank goodness, announced that he had managed to untie himself.
He untied me too, and we both glanced at our mutual rival.
"He is competition," pointed out my friend.
"True."
"But he's not very good competition."
"Nope."
"But we still shouldn't risk letting him out. We did break into his lair, after all."
"That's also true."
So we left him. Captain Hero was asleep in front of the blaring TV, so we moved past him easily and left the lair.
My friend headed home, to his lair in Florida. I returned to my fortress as well.
Until tomorrow, my minions.
Seventeen days till completion of the death-ray.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Day 6
Today's events were mildly more exciting, by which of course, I mean completely chaotic.
My fellow villain and I were exploring a rival's lair without his knowledge, when my personal enemy, Captain Hero, decided to show up and, how does Hollywood put it, save the day.
Luckily for me, after he finished tying the three of us villains up, he destroyed the death ray that I intended to destroy myself, which was somewhat satisfying to watch. Unfortunately there is the small fact that I am currently tied to a chair in the basement, two other occupied chairs next to me, while Captain Hero is watching a movie on the other villain's high-definition TV. I am blogging on a laptop at my feet, typing with my toes. Brilliant. There had better be one heckuva escape plan being thought of by the two other villains in the room. Preferably one that involves me escaping too.
I brought some spare parts with me. Eighteen days until personal death ray completion.
My fellow villain and I were exploring a rival's lair without his knowledge, when my personal enemy, Captain Hero, decided to show up and, how does Hollywood put it, save the day.
Luckily for me, after he finished tying the three of us villains up, he destroyed the death ray that I intended to destroy myself, which was somewhat satisfying to watch. Unfortunately there is the small fact that I am currently tied to a chair in the basement, two other occupied chairs next to me, while Captain Hero is watching a movie on the other villain's high-definition TV. I am blogging on a laptop at my feet, typing with my toes. Brilliant. There had better be one heckuva escape plan being thought of by the two other villains in the room. Preferably one that involves me escaping too.
I brought some spare parts with me. Eighteen days until personal death ray completion.
Day 5
Nothing of interest has happened so far. Me and my friend have sneaked into my rival's fortress and are preparing to sabotage his death ray. I am blogging from his (the rival's) supercomputer.
Nineteen days till personal death ray completion.
Nineteen days till personal death ray completion.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Day 4
I am afraid, my minions, that I shall not be home for the next few days. I have received an invitation to help destroy some other villain's death ray with a friend. Obviously two death rays would result in competition, something I am unwilling to encounter. Thank you for understanding, though I really couldn't care less if you do.
Twenty days to the finished death ray.
Twenty days to the finished death ray.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Day 2
Captain Hero beat me up again. Twice, actually. He's a jerk, I know. Who would dare beat me up? Besides someone with super strength, the ability to fly, and the power to keep his hair perfect all the time. Stupid hero.
Twenty-six more days until the death ray is finished.
Twenty-six more days until the death ray is finished.
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