January 17th- A few tales of my amazingness.

First off, I'm pretty sure amazingness isn't a word. Whatever.

I actually succeeded in defeating Captain Hero in combat! See, he was charging at me, and I held up this huge mirror, and he got so distracted by checking his hair I managed to escape. So there was no actual combat, but still, I count it as a win.

After he was distracted trying to find me, I managed to finish my business, which was getting some gum from a twenty-five cent machine.

Later, I succeeded in another epic triumph, and that was disposing of all my intern's opera CDs. I have never been happier to smash something other than Captain Hero's nose. Ah, it was fun.

Of course, I'm sure he'll go out and buy a bunch of new ones. But still, a few days worth of peace.

January 9th- Minor crimes

It's interesting... After my disastrous and catastrophic Christmas, I found myself without a world changing plan. Unfortunately, that hasn't changed. I still pull of minor crimes though, to entertain myself, like the one a couple days ago.


There is an organization called the SCA. I don't recall what it stands for, but it's pretty much a bunch of people who like to dress up in medieval clothes, crown a king every few months, sell medieval swords and such, and take on the mannerisms of people who died a long time ago.

Now, they have a celebration on Twelfth Night, and this year, it was held at the same fancy place I was planning on robbing.

So, using my insanely skilled methods of disguise, I crammed myself into an uncomfortable dress, hitched on a dagger and a beaded hair ornament, and attended.

It was highly amusing, I must tell you, to be with all these people who bowed and acted extraordinarily courteously and didn't even know I was planning on pulling off a major theft.

At least, until I tried pulling off the major theft, fell off a chandelier, and landed in the middle of a bunch of people holding swords.

Not fun.

Luckily there was a window near by, so I ran at that and fell through. I totally forgot that I was on the second floor.

Lucky that tree was there.

Now I'm scratched up and bruised.

And to top it off, the intern is playing opera.

Day 16

Life is full of surprises, isn't it?

One day, you'll be a reasonably successful soon-to-be evil overlord, the next, you'll be tortured and expected to die within the next thirty seconds.

What is the manner of my distress, you ask? (Shut up. You were supposed to ask; if you had, I wouldn't have had to interrupt a perfectly good rant like this.)

The torture is, and I kid you not, my new intern, curse him, likes opera.

Ugh, and there was wailing and moaning and gnashing of teeth!

Will it ever stop?  It's awful!

Eight days left till death ray.