January 9th- Minor crimes

It's interesting... After my disastrous and catastrophic Christmas, I found myself without a world changing plan. Unfortunately, that hasn't changed. I still pull of minor crimes though, to entertain myself, like the one a couple days ago.


There is an organization called the SCA. I don't recall what it stands for, but it's pretty much a bunch of people who like to dress up in medieval clothes, crown a king every few months, sell medieval swords and such, and take on the mannerisms of people who died a long time ago.

Now, they have a celebration on Twelfth Night, and this year, it was held at the same fancy place I was planning on robbing.

So, using my insanely skilled methods of disguise, I crammed myself into an uncomfortable dress, hitched on a dagger and a beaded hair ornament, and attended.

It was highly amusing, I must tell you, to be with all these people who bowed and acted extraordinarily courteously and didn't even know I was planning on pulling off a major theft.

At least, until I tried pulling off the major theft, fell off a chandelier, and landed in the middle of a bunch of people holding swords.

Not fun.

Luckily there was a window near by, so I ran at that and fell through. I totally forgot that I was on the second floor.

Lucky that tree was there.

Now I'm scratched up and bruised.

And to top it off, the intern is playing opera.

December 25

The day's events were interesting and rather difficult.

As you know, for the past few days I have devoted much of my time to finishing the death ray, to be used on my nemesis, Captain Hero.

The day went like this.

I was in the laboratory, polishing the death ray. It was time to go. I put on my best black, evil costume and grabbed the ray.

I went to the Truck of Pure Evil and I drove to the meeting place of the Board of International Heroes. Snow was falling softly as I left the truck and entered the building by way of the skylight.

I dropped from the roof and, using my gravity-easing shoes, landed in the middle of the heroes. I pointed the death ray directly at Captain Hero, taking half a moment to enjoy his helplessness, my victory, and I pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened, other than a spark shooting out of the death ray.

My eyes widened, but before I could do anything, multiple superheroes attacked.

I was beaten, practically to death, and the death ray was destroyed in front of my eyes, before something hit the back of my head and I was knocked unconscious.

I woke up in front of my lair. I don't know why they didn't turn me over to the police. I don't know who brought me back. I hobbled, bruised and stiff, into the lair and collapsed on the floor.

I noticed something in front of me.

It was the mysterious package I had received days ago. It was Christmas, I realized, and now I could open it.

Inside the box was a tiny, artificial Christmas tree, a delicate angel topping it, colored lights wrapped about it.

I pulled it out, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My first Christmas present.

Underneath it was a note, scrawled on a small piece of paper.

In exchange for the tree I stopped you from cutting.


Captain Hero

I dropped the paper and began to sob.