Fish Issues

This isn't really evil, but I'm telling you this because it's my excuse as to why it's been a while since I've posted.

I've been setting up a fish tank.

I love the little bubbly skull. And the fish are black- they're so cute!

Ahem. Anyway.

Because I really don't have anything else to do, I've composed a Q&A style guide to starting a fish tank. Successfully, this time.

Q: Do you need to feed them?

A: Yes. Try beer and potato chips. That usually seems to work.

Q: Do snails clean your tank?

A: They clean your tank about as much as they obey the laws of physics. In other words, not very much.

Q: Okay, do snails have brains?

A: No. Neither do you.

Q: What's the best type of tank?

A: I'm not really sure, but I'm leaning towards the watertight variety.

Q: What's the best type of fish?

A: Sharks. Unfortunately, these are a little large.